Pleas and Confusion
by hoping for sin
Summary: [Squinoa] Songfic. Sometimes emotional pain is the hardest to endure. Prequel to [Cries and Wishes] Review!


A/N: I wrote the companion piece to this first and then realized that I could write what actually happened, so yeah, here it is.

Song used- Letters to God- Box Car Racer

"**Pleas and Confusion"**

Squall sliced the creature once again. It roared in pain and stroked back and managed to injure him more than he was already.

Squall tried to focus on something other than the pain that was shooting through his side but the only other thing that came to mind was the fact that everyone else was dead.

12 cadets with the group leader Commander Squall.

12 cadets dead with Squall fighting for his life.

An unknown strong fiend took them all by surprise and now Squall was fighting by himself.

_**Caught off guard**_

_**All worked up**_

_**The air is as dark and cold as night**_

As much as Squall didn't want to admit it he knew that he wasn't going to survive this fight.

He was going to die out here.

In the middle of nowhere.

Alone.

He didn't want to go though.

He had Rinoa and his daughter, Lianna to look after.

He didn't want to go, and he wasn't going to. With a new resolve Squall performed his limit break Lion Heart and destroyed the unknown enemy.

He fell to the ground in exhaustion.

_**Let me go**_

**_I'm not done_**

**_I swear I'll just take this one lifetime_**

It was then that he noticed how bad the injury he sustained was. It was at least 20cm long and it was deep. He survived the battle but would die of blood loss within 20 minutes if he didn't do something. He crawled past the bodies to try and find the supply bags. He found the medic for this excursion, lying on her back, bathing in a pool of blood. He saw the bag next to her and opened it to find no potions, only pressure bandages. Squall grabbed one and put it on. It slowed the bleeding a fair bit, that would give him maybe another half an hour.

_**And I **_

**_I won't lie_**

**_I won't sin_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

**_Can't you wait?_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

Squall slowly stood and felt a few drops of water hit his face. He grabbed the supply bags and limped his way to the cave at the end of the field.

As he walked past the entrance of the cave it started to rain. He glanced outside before gracelessly falling to the ground. He grabbed the main bag and tried to find the radio so he could contact Garden, not that they would get there in time. His hand felt something and he pulled it out.

The radio was broken. Probably from when the enemy surprised them all, it probably stood on it.

_**I should of asked**_

_**I could of helped**_

_**At least a fucking thousand times before**_

Squall rested his head against the cave wall and turned his head to face outside. 12 bodies were being rained upon, their blood washing away and all he could think of was his family.

Rinoa, the love of his life and

Lianna, his daughter, _their _daughter and at only 7 years old she was going to have lost her father.

Squall let out a grunt as the pain increased.

He could only imagine the families of the dead cadets. Their first mini exam and theirs lives were ended.

He wondered how they would cope.

**_Will this offer_**

_**Get me in**_

_**Or does this prove that they gave more?**_

Squall, in the first time in his life, felt like crying. Not because he was going to die, but because something in Rinoa and Lianna was going to die. They were the ones going to suffer. Sure others were going to too, like his friends, Matron, Cid, Laguna, Ellone, etc…But they were going to suffer more. They were going to have to live through the pain for the rest of their lives, worse than everybody else.

_**And I **_

**_I won't lie_**

**_I won't sin_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

**_Can't you wait?_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

Squall let out a yell of frustration, this train of thought would surely aggravate him more than needed so with a new found purpose Squall rummaged through one of the bags and found a piece of paper and a pen. Maybe it wasn't the goodbye he wanted, hell, he **never **wanted to say goodbye. But he knew that he had to, and at least this was a goodbye. With that he set pen to paper and started writing.

_**And I **_

**_I won't lie_**

**_I won't sin_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

**_Can't you wait?_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

Ending with 'Love Squall xoxo' Squall dropped the pen and fell back against the wall. The pain was increasing with each movement, not matter how slight. Squall was always good at handling pain; it was part of his SeeD training. But they didn't teach how to handle this pain.

Emotional pain.

It was tearing out his soul from the inside out.

He didn't want to go!

He wanted to stay and live his life next to his wife and daughter. He wanted to grow old with Rinoa while

watching Lianna grow up.

He wanted to see her reach 8.

He wanted to see her get a boyfriend so he could chase him away.

He wanted to let her go.

He wanted to walk her down the aisle.

And he wanted to die peacefully with his angel by his side.

Squall felt like yelling out in frustration.

Why did this have to happen?

"Why now?" Squall murmur to himself. "and why me?"

His vision slowly started to blur and blacken and in no time at all Squall felt himself slipping into unconsciousness.

_**And I **_

**_I won't lie_**

**_I won't sin_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

**_Can't you wait?_**

**_Maybe I don't wanna go_**

Squall Leonheart died clutching his farewell letter to his heart.


End file.
